Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Other Side of the Wall

I recently posted about a session with Sir in which I let some walls down.  It was a wonderful time.  And the walls have stayed down really. Although we haven't experienced the same intensity as we did that night, I haven't closed off the area that I opened to Sir that day. And Sir periodically kicks the bricks, so to speak, to be sure that wall isn't being rebuilt.

What one can expect when walls come down is a good amount of rubble and some dust being stirred around.  Well, that is what happened when my walls came down.

The night, as I posted before, was intense.  Full of some very raw emotions and definitely some untouched places.  And I still couldn't tell you what triggered the release, but it was unexpected.  Sir navigated the uncharted area very well - for which, I am very thankful.

If I was unprepared for the release, I was even more unprepared for the after effects.  I woke up feeling the most dreadful feeling.    An almost indescribable heaviness.  I suppose it was sub drop. I was concerned about what Sir thought of me, even though the night before he told me how much he enjoyed it.  Cuddled me and put me to bed like he does every night.  It seemed just a little irrational for me to be feeling what I was feeling.  Along with Sir's opinion, I was rifled with just general feelings of horror of, "OMG, what did I do?"  "How could I have called myself whore?" "How could I have let those things happen to me?" "How could I have let myself be treated that way?" "Allowed those things to be said about me?"

Much, much, much out of character for me I immediately told Sir the emotions I was dealing with.  Sir was so good at consoling me and reassuring me that he was pleased and what it meant to him that I let those walls down for him.  He talked me through all my doubts and soothed those fears.

I'm okay totally okay about it now.  My first real experience with, what I suppose was, sub drop was interesting.  And I survived!  However, in the back of my want to be in control of things little head I'm wondering if we can somehow plan the next round of wall tumbling!  I do much better with a plan!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Pleasure Reading

The title says it all, really.



...well, except maybe, "I miss you, Sir."


Morning Dream

I woke up feeling so horny.  Thinking about being snuggled close to Sir.  Laying next to each, spooning. Sir raised up and whispered in my ear, "I want to take you now."  I rolled over onto my back and spread my legs for him so he could take whatever he wanted...

In my morning email to Sir, I told him the thoughts to which I had awakened.  He replied call me now and I"ll give you what you woke up wanting.

So began a wonderful day...

Saturday, October 15, 2011

From Prim and Proper to Wanton and Whorish

This week an interesting thing happened on the way to the....well the place we were going!

I've had several significant occurrences with Sir this week.  It's kinda been like a roller-coaster ride.  Highs and lows, but a good ride nevertheless.  I'll be blogging about most of them (eventually!), but first I'll share the one that was most....well....shocking to me.

I wouldn't have thought there were boundaries between me and Sir. LOL! Shows how much I know. And how much I have to learn!

I still don't know what triggered the wall surrounding my inner whore to come down, but down it definitely came.  I've written in previous blogs that when we play Sir continuously asks how I am doing, what I am feeling?  And, as I've written before, I will respond either with how I feel about serving Sir, how I feel emotionally or physically.  The replies have been fairly contained to a few responses that are more actually fact based.

Well a switch flipped this week. A really big switch!

We had been playing for awhile.  There was something different about how I was responding, but I don't think I gave much thought to it, or if I could have defined it if I did. But, when Sir asked, "How are you feeling, my good girl," I knew. Immediately. I knew how I had been responding.  I knew how I felt.  I knew what I wanted to be.  I said, "I'm your whore, Sir."  "I feel like your whore, Sir."  And a wall came down.  I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I went from (if this really is even possible) a prim and proper little sub to Sir's wanton and whorish sub. 

It was such an emotional release. Sir continued to use me that night.  We didn't do anything physically we hadn't done before, but there was definitely a different quality to our play.  I felt I belonged to Sir more than ever before.  I think it was an emotional release for both of us.  It made me realize how much I was holding back.  What parts of me I had exposed to Sir.  And what parts I hadn't. What I had given to Sir. And what I hadn't given to Sir.

I also realized as well how patient Sir is with me.  He didn't hesitate to cross the boundary I had just lowered.  To push the wall further down.  But, he had waited for me to dismantle it first.  I'm constantly amazed how patient and understanding Sir is.

I feel so fortunate to have found Sir.  He makes my life so much better.  Can't imagine life without him anymore, really.

I'll post more about our interesting week later...







Monday, October 10, 2011

Music Monday

Uncle Kracker - Follow Me



You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when i'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows
Then nobody can care
You're feelin' guilty
And I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared
I'm singing...

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go astray and
We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay

I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when I'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

"UNCLE KRACKER - FOLLOW ME LYRICS." Lyrics. Web. 09 Oct. 2011. <http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/follow-me-lyrics-uncle-kracker/4f100463bf33edf048256a5000268bf4>.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011

EdenFantasys Toy Review

Yep. It's that time again. Time to tell of my adventures trying sex toys with Sir. This post is a redemption posts of sorts. The adventure with the last toy was less than spectacular. EdenFantasys sent another anal toy to try. I'll just cut to the chase and say this one had more than satisfactory results.


How I got my "Groove" back.
Sir and I really, really like this toy.  It's called "The Groove." It definitely helped me get my anal groove back!!

With an insertable length of 6", it is definitely the longest anal toy we've played with to date.  It has 5 graduated beads or bulges.  The largest bulge is 4 3/4" in circumference.  The biggest bulge is larger than any other anal toy we've used as well.  Even though the biggest bulge required a little extra pressure to get inserted, I found it to be a very comfortable size.

The length of "The Groove" allows it to easily be used for thrusting - which is how Sir used it.  The bulges also allow it to be used like beads.  And I must say feeling those differing sizes while thrusting felt just wonderful.  The wide base also allows it to stay in like a butt plug.  However, I don't know if it's length (it's really is pretty long), or the depth of the base, would allow it to be inserted for long periods of time or if you could sit while it is inserted.  Hmmmmmm....maybe Sir and I have more testing to do?

Among it's other qualities, "The Groove" is very flexible.  That makes it very comfortable while inserted, despite it's length.  The only drawback to that flexibility is that the first bulge was slightly difficult to get inserted.  But, once the first bulge is inserted, the rest of the probe can be easily inserted by pushing from the base. 

I thoroughly enjoyed playing with this toy with Sir.  I liked especially that it was long enough to be used for thrusting.  That was a new and totally enjoyable experience.  Sir was very pleased at how much I loved playing with this toy.  It gets very favorable reviews from us both.  We'll be gettin' our groove on with "The Groove" quite often, I'm sure.