Thursday, October 25, 2012

Has This Ever Happened To You?

If you are a guy, I can answer that question for you with 99.99% accuracy.  Nope.  My .01% margin of error accounts for the far flung possibility that someone who happens upon my blog may have at some point been a chick and is now a dude. Far, far flung possibility.

Furthermore, if you are a chick, I would almost keep the same odds that "THIS" has never happened to you because it never happened to me....until yesterday morning.

Anyways.....that ought to give you a really huge clue that this post has something to do with something specific to the female anatomy.

And...before we go might really be TMI.  Guess what?  I'm going to keep the same odds that I'm 99.99% sure this is TMI.

So, Aunt Flo has come to visit me recently.  She comes to see me once a month.  Sometimes she gives me real problems when she visits, but never anything like the problem I had yesterday morning. Night before last I put Flo to bed wrapped up and stuffed.  Just so she would be comfortable while she slept.  When the morning came and it was time to change her "clothes," I realized I had a problem.  At first I thought it might be morning stupor, but no, I couldn't undress Flo. Somehow one of her "ribbons" had gotten jammed up where it shouldn't have been.  I was tugging and tugging and couldn't get the stuffer unstuffed.  Caused me some serious alarm at first.  Not thinking clearly, my first thought was what friend was I going to call at 5:30 in the morning and come help me get unstuffed?  Then I thought, what if I have to go to the ER and have this thing unstuffed?  I was really not thinking clearly.....obviously.  But, I'll tell you unstuffing a stuffer is so much easier when you have both "ribbons" to use.   I had to pull so hard using only one "ribbon" that I cut my finger.  Not until a little bit later did I realize I could have used a more hands on approach to unstuffing the stuffer.  Did I mention my morning stupor?  Yes?  Okay. Just making sure. The whole thing was just surreal so it threw me off for a bit about what was going on.  I blame the surrealty (is too a word) for throwing off my highly evolved and logical problem solving skills.  That...and morning stupor.  Later it was funny.  I told Sir about it that morning.  He said if he had been there, he would have helped.  Pure chivalry on his part.

For those of you who really have no idea what the preceding story was about:  I got one of the strings of my tampon somehow lodged up in my va-jay-jay.  Have no idea how it happened.  Really was never mindful that there were two strings to help dis-lodge the thing.  I'm sure I knew, just never paid that much attention.  Anyway...I found out what a difference a string can make.

I wished I were a mathematician.  First, I would work on those percentages I first mentioned - find out what the real odds are.  Then, I would figure out why it required SOOOOOO much more force to pull that dang thing out with only one string.  I mean they are little bitty doesn't seem like minus one would make that much of a difference.  It did.

So, HAS this ever happened to you?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Here's to LIFE!

Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it."

 Although I'm not sure I agree with this ratio, I do believe the basis of this statement is truth. Some of what happens to you can be "dismantled" by your response. Problem is some of that #% of what happens to you happens before you have the tools to have a healing and healthy response. Here's to finding the tools, at whatever stage you find them, to dismantle what's happened to you so that you can live. Here's to LIFE!

 Yes, I am on a journey. Yes, Sir has been wonderfully supportive.  Yes, I will be fine.