Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Where I Need To Be

Sometimes where I need to be is right there. Nestled against his chest. Feeling his arms around me. Hearing him whisper in my ear. Feeling his warmth.

Sometimes I feel so small.  So broken. So needy. All I think of doing is cuddling up in his lap.  And feel his comfort.  Feel the re-assurance of being his.

Sometimes I feel like that little girl. So scared. So helpless. All I can think of doing is melting into him.  And asking, "Sir, please hold my hand."

Feeling particularly weak lately.  Feeling alone. Feeling so out of control.  Spiraling into a not so good place.  I knew I couldn't ground myself.  Knew if I let it continue, it could end up hurting us.  Finally, I asked.  Sir, please hold my hand.

Sir J recently wrote a post about the intimacy of holding hands.  It so beautifully portrays how I have been feeling.

Love & SSO

Saturday, October 5, 2013


There is something quite dismantling about love.

Tired of Speaking Sweetly

Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of God.

If you had the courage and
Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,
He would just drag you around the room
By your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.

Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds
All your erroneous notions of truth

That make you fight within yourself, dear one,
And with others,

Causing the world to weep
On too many fine days.

God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us inside of a tiny room with Himself
And practice His dropkick.

The Beloved sometimes wants
To do us a great favor:

Hold us upside down
And shake all the nonsense out.

But when we hear
He is in such a "playful drunken mood"
Most everyone I know
Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
Out of town.

From: 'The Gift'
Translated by Daniel Ladinsky