Thursday, October 25, 2012

Has This Ever Happened To You?

If you are a guy, I can answer that question for you with 99.99% accuracy.  Nope.  My .01% margin of error accounts for the far flung possibility that someone who happens upon my blog may have at some point been a chick and is now a dude. Far, far flung possibility.

Furthermore, if you are a chick, I would almost keep the same odds that "THIS" has never happened to you because it never happened to me....until yesterday morning.

Anyways.....that ought to give you a really huge clue that this post has something to do with something specific to the female anatomy.

And...before we go on...it might really be TMI.  Guess what?  I'm going to keep the same odds that I'm 99.99% sure this is TMI.

So, Aunt Flo has come to visit me recently.  She comes to see me once a month.  Sometimes she gives me real problems when she visits, but never anything like the problem I had yesterday morning. Night before last I put Flo to bed wrapped up and stuffed.  Just so she would be comfortable while she slept.  When the morning came and it was time to change her "clothes," I realized I had a problem.  At first I thought it might be morning stupor, but no, I couldn't undress Flo. Somehow one of her "ribbons" had gotten jammed up where it shouldn't have been.  I was tugging and tugging and couldn't get the stuffer unstuffed.  Caused me some serious alarm at first.  Not thinking clearly, my first thought was what friend was I going to call at 5:30 in the morning and come help me get unstuffed?  Then I thought, what if I have to go to the ER and have this thing unstuffed?  I was really not thinking clearly.....obviously.  But, I'll tell you unstuffing a stuffer is so much easier when you have both "ribbons" to use.   I had to pull so hard using only one "ribbon" that I cut my finger.  Not until a little bit later did I realize I could have used a more hands on approach to unstuffing the stuffer.  Did I mention my morning stupor?  Yes?  Okay. Just making sure. The whole thing was just surreal so it threw me off for a bit about what was going on.  I blame the surrealty (is too a word) for throwing off my highly evolved and logical problem solving skills.  That...and morning stupor.  Later it was funny.  I told Sir about it that morning.  He said if he had been there, he would have helped.  Pure chivalry on his part.

For those of you who really have no idea what the preceding story was about:  I got one of the strings of my tampon somehow lodged up in my va-jay-jay.  Have no idea how it happened.  Really was never mindful that there were two strings to help dis-lodge the thing.  I'm sure I knew, just never paid that much attention.  Anyway...I found out what a difference a string can make.

I wished I were a mathematician.  First, I would work on those percentages I first mentioned - find out what the real odds are.  Then, I would figure out why it required SOOOOOO much more force to pull that dang thing out with only one string.  I mean they are little bitty strings...it doesn't seem like minus one would make that much of a difference.  It did.

So, HAS this ever happened to you?

10 comments:

  1. That has never happened no, but i can see why you got into a bit of a panic, stupor or no stupor. Mind you at the beginning of the post, i was struggling to understand what you were talking about and was almost relieved by the time it got to the crux of the story. So glad you found the other string before you got to the ER as that would have been too much of a story to tell! J xx

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    1. LOL...I can assure you, with 99.99% accuracy, my relief at the crux of the story was much greater than yours!!!!!

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  2. That happened to me...and MORE....I had used one of those tampons with the "flower petal" openings...and, unbeknownst to me, one of the petals actually punctured a HOLE...through which the string then went through. I had to go to the ER to have a tampon removed which had gotten SEWN into me. That was the end of using tampons for me!

    Be well,
    Amanda

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    1. omg....Amanda. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sounds horrifying and excruciatingly painful. I don't blame you for calling an end to tampons after that.

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  3. Eeep! No this has never happened to me but I would have had a full on panic attack. That is scary stuff! But my tampons only have one string, not 2... Hmmm

    Glad it came out without medical intervention!!

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    1. Hmmmm... I wonder why two? But, I can tell you they are both needed!

      I'm glad it came out with medical intervention as well. My story was a little tongue in cheek, but after reading Amanda's comment realized it could have been an entirely different situation.

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  4. Oh my goodness! first i had to go check mine to see how many strings i had! LOL! I do have two as well:) But mine are tied together so maybe I will never have this problem unless both of my strings get lost!!! That would be terrible!! I am so glad everything ended up ok! Oh the things that us girls go through!

    Belle:)

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    1. Exactly...the things we go through. Mine are evidently not tied, but you can bet from now on I will check to make sure one or both aren't jammed up in the applicator.

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  5. Yes, I've had that happen, morning stupor or not, it's miserable. Glad you were able to fix the situation without outside assistance :)

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    1. faerie, it must happen more often than I imagined. If of the small small small population of my blog readers, it has happened to three of us, imagine how often it does. I'm actually a little surprised about that. I really would have thought that it would be a rarity. I will have to ask some of my girlfriends now.

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