New Rule

.....and not the Bill Maher kind either.

Actually, this is a First Rule.  Which says a lot.  In 15 months, Sir has never given me a rule.  He tells me things he wants me to do.  Those things aren't rules.  They are rituals.  Sir loves rituals.  He doesn't like rules.  Which says a lot that I now have a rule.

It was all innocent really.

No, seriously.  Innocent.

Well...innocent, but maybe a bit of flawed logic!

I left for work on Friday and realized my fuel was 67 miles to empty.  My round trip to work is 54.  Exactly. 54.  I thought, "No problem. I can make it no problem.  13 miles to spare."  That seemed logical to me.  I mean surely my car's computer can be trusted to do simple math, right?

Wrong.

I thought I was going to run out of gas.  It actually got to the point that read, "0 miles to E."

 Whew.  They evidently put some wiggle room in there.  More than the 13 miles I was counting on.

Well....I was telling Sir the story because I had to stop at the first gas station I came across.  That was the story to me because the gas station was overrun by racoons.  There were at least 50 of them.  Freaked me out.  No way I wanted to get out and get gas with all those racoons roaming around.  But, I had no choice.  I was passed empty.

I was laughing telling the story.

Sir wasn't that amused.  His first response was. "New Rule."

My first thought was.  Rule?  I don't have rules.  I think I kept trying to explain how logical it was that I trusted the reading on my car.  13 extra miles.  I mean that was enough to get halfway back to work again!  It seemed so logical to me.  Still does, actually. Have I ever mentioned that I have an advanced degree? Kinda feel the need to mention that when I feel so silly about something!

Nope. New Rule.  I am not allowed to let my gas tank get below 100 miles to empty.

Yes, Sir. New Rule.

SSO

Nostalgia

Nostalgia....it's a thing of the past.

I didn't make that up, just so you know.  I did have that as a poster on my bedroom wall when I was in hmmmm let's sayyy about 5th grade.  Strange sense of humor for a 5th grader.

Anyway.

I snapped this picture at work the other day.  It gave me a sense of nostalgia. At my previous job, Sir would send me to the bathroom.  He controlled my pee times.  He let me go several times a day, but I didn't go without him sending me.  When he would send me, he would tell me, "Pull down your pants for me." Sigh. We no longer do that because I don't have a great phone connection at my new job.  Double Sigh.

Sir and I played both days this weekend!!! Yay for improvement. I've gone to a different doctor and he's pursuing a different course of treatment.  I see an improvement this week.  No telling what this coming weekend will hold for us.

SSO


 

What's the Word I'm Looking For?

Sometimes I wish I had an encyclopedic memory for useful words.  That would come in very handy when I try to explain my emotions.  I'm not great when it comes to explaining how I feel.  I'm not even great at knowing how I feel.

After my rituals at night, I email Sir to tell him I've completed them.  I'm also suppose to tell him how I feel.  I do tell him, but I never feel I've captured my mood or feelings very well.

Especially about kneeling time....

I love kneeling time.  I think I usually tell Sir that kneeling time helps me focus.  Or makes me feel settled.  It goes  far beyond that, though.  And I've not found the words to really describe it.  I thought I was doing well with "settled," but it falls short too.  That in some way sounds passive, but I think kneeling time is active.  Or, proactive...  I actively settle myself into thoughts about Sir.  I can feel it mentally, or emotionally.  Almost physically.

Still, I haven't found the perfect way to describe.