Wednesday, March 30, 2011

What is this feeling?

At first I thought this might be culture shock.  But, to experience culture shock you have to have entered the culture.  I haven't experienced this lifestyle on any level, really.  Just curious. Alright, I'm more than curious.  I'm trying to find my blueprint.  I always look for a blueprint.  I want to know the specific steps, actions, procedures required to get something accomplished.  I always think I am going to remove unknown contingencies surrounding something by researching it, studying it, analyzing it.  That's just not going to happen here, is it?  Truth be told, it's never really happened for me anyway.

So what is this feeling?  It's akin to standing at the foot of a mountain, knowing that's my learning curve.  Knowing it's going to have to be climbed.


  1. There is no blueprint. I know, I've searched.

    You HAVE entered the culture. You began this blog.

    Control issues? noooo, not us. The whole dynamic is nothing but about power and control, and the giving and receiving there of.

    I've had some very difficult passages on this journey. It comes with the territory. Be kind and patient with yourself.


  2. As already stated, there is no blueprint. There are no hard and fast rules. There is no step by step guide. there is a lot of gray area. You are doing what you need to do. Research, learn, study and then do it some more. Look into just about every aspect of this you can find. Learn about yourself and your own desires. then you can begin to formulate what parts of this you want and need, and which parts you don't. You can make this be and do it however you want. That's the beauty of it. Sort of custom blend your own situation and what fits you.


  3. littlemonkey,

    I've always thought of my search for the blueprint as an endearing idiosyncrasy. Never as a control issue. ;-)


    Guess I better go buy those hiking boots. It's going to be a steep climb indeed!

    BTW, thanks for sharing your journey through your blog. I enjoy reading it.

  4. DV,

    Fortunately, research and study are some of my fortés! I am definitely doing due diligence on the matter.

    I like the idea of customized kink!

  5. That is the beauty of BDSM, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be bondage, pain, control, submission, dominance, or any combination of them all. Or even just one thing only. Whatever is right for you, is the right way for you to do it. Good luck and don't forget to have fun on your journey.


  6. William,

    I hope to find the right mix! My very own BDSM cocktail. What should I call it?