Incubus - Stellar
You are stellar
Meet me in outer space
We could spend the night
Watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place
Won't you come with me?
We could start again
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew, ho
Meet me in outer space
I will hold you close
If you're afraid of heights
I need you to see this place
It might be the only way
That I can show you how
It feels to be inside of you
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew, yea
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
You do
Ohh
You are stellar
You are stellar
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
Its better than I ever knew, no
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
Yea
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/i/incubus-lyrics/stellar-lyrics.html )
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Lonely Hearts Club
Nothing much to say...except that I miss Sir. He is traveling this weekend. And I feel kinda lost without him. That's all. Just miss Sir.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
And a Twofer...
I guess that's a real term.
Today is the four month anniversary of my submission to Sir. It seems like it has been so much longer. Seems like I've known Sir forever. But, it also feels like it was only yesterday. Time has sped by.
Tonight we will celebrate. There will whipped cream involved.
And spankings......Always spankings!
Happy 1/3 Year Anniversary, Sir.
Your good girl
Today is the four month anniversary of my submission to Sir. It seems like it has been so much longer. Seems like I've known Sir forever. But, it also feels like it was only yesterday. Time has sped by.
Tonight we will celebrate. There will whipped cream involved.
And spankings......Always spankings!
Happy 1/3 Year Anniversary, Sir.
Your good girl
A First?
Holy bullseye, Batman. I have a bruise on my butt.
Yep, it's a first. I think. I saw it this morning a little by accident. I don't normally do an overview of my naked butt. But, for some reason, this morning I checked out my butt in the mirror. And there it was. A bruise. It's about 2" x 3/4". Amazing.
Since I don't normally check out my naked butt, I really don't know if it's a first. But, it is the first one I've seen! I couldn't wait to tell Sir. I thought he would be pleased about it.
Well.....pleased might be an understatement. Sir was elated. Sir likes me to wear his marks. And now he's given me more marks.
And Sir is insatiable. I don't know what I expected when I told Sir, but it certainly wasn't the outcome I did get. Now to my "dinner dessert" I'm to add 50 swats to each butt cheek. That on top of the almost nightly spankings I already get.
I'm not normally this slow, but I honestly didn't know Sir was such a spanking enthusiast. My first clue should have been the fact that every play session starts out with a spanking. Sirs spanks my nipples. Sir spanks my butt. And Sir spanks my well the other intimate part of my anatomy. That really should have been my first clue.
Nope. Not normally this slow. I guess I could blame it on the fact that the blood is leaving my brain for other more stimulated parts!!! But, really not normally this slow.
And the thrill of seeing Sir's marks on my body? Amazing....
Yep, it's a first. I think. I saw it this morning a little by accident. I don't normally do an overview of my naked butt. But, for some reason, this morning I checked out my butt in the mirror. And there it was. A bruise. It's about 2" x 3/4". Amazing.
Since I don't normally check out my naked butt, I really don't know if it's a first. But, it is the first one I've seen! I couldn't wait to tell Sir. I thought he would be pleased about it.
Well.....pleased might be an understatement. Sir was elated. Sir likes me to wear his marks. And now he's given me more marks.
And Sir is insatiable. I don't know what I expected when I told Sir, but it certainly wasn't the outcome I did get. Now to my "dinner dessert" I'm to add 50 swats to each butt cheek. That on top of the almost nightly spankings I already get.
I'm not normally this slow, but I honestly didn't know Sir was such a spanking enthusiast. My first clue should have been the fact that every play session starts out with a spanking. Sirs spanks my nipples. Sir spanks my butt. And Sir spanks my well the other intimate part of my anatomy. That really should have been my first clue.
Nope. Not normally this slow. I guess I could blame it on the fact that the blood is leaving my brain for other more stimulated parts!!! But, really not normally this slow.
And the thrill of seeing Sir's marks on my body? Amazing....
Monday, August 22, 2011
Music Monday
Soul2Soul - Back to Life
back to life, back to reality
back to life, back to reality
back to life, back to reality
back to the here and now yeah
show me how decide what you want from me
tell me maybe i could be there for you
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life back to the present time
back from a fantasy
tell me now take the initiative
i’ll leave it in your hands until your ready
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
live at the top of the block
no more room for trouble and fuss
need a change a positive change
look it’s me writing on the wall
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life back to the day we have
lets end this foolish game
hear me out don’t let me waste away
make up your mind so i know where i stand
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life, back to reality
back to the here and now yeah
show me how decide what you want from me
tell me maybe i could be there for you
"Soul ii Soul - Back to Life Lyrics." SoundTrack Lyrics Source #1. Any Movie, Musical, TV, Cartoon! Web. 09 July 2011. <http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/s/souliisoul21858/backtolife983405.html>.
back to life, back to reality
back to life, back to reality
back to life, back to reality
back to the here and now yeah
show me how decide what you want from me
tell me maybe i could be there for you
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life back to the present time
back from a fantasy
tell me now take the initiative
i’ll leave it in your hands until your ready
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
live at the top of the block
no more room for trouble and fuss
need a change a positive change
look it’s me writing on the wall
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life back to the day we have
lets end this foolish game
hear me out don’t let me waste away
make up your mind so i know where i stand
how ever do you want me how
how ever do you need me
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me how
how ever do you want me
how ever do you need me
back to life, back to reality
back to the here and now yeah
show me how decide what you want from me
tell me maybe i could be there for you
"Soul ii Soul - Back to Life Lyrics." SoundTrack Lyrics Source #1. Any Movie, Musical, TV, Cartoon! Web. 09 July 2011. <http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/s/souliisoul21858/backtolife983405.html>.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Edenfantasys Toy Review
Momma always told me, "Honesty is the best policy."
Momma never guessed I would ever have to write a less than flattering review about a sex toy.
Seriously though, this has been a really difficult review to write. I've pondered over it for days. Weeks really. So, I've decided to take momma's advice and just be honest. (BTW, it's also what my contact at edenfantasys advised me to do as well.)
So, to be honest, I was super excited about the toy I had chosen to review. Sir had expressed his interest in it and I do try to please Sir. So when the opportunity arose I selected this simply delightful looking anal probe.
Oh yes, people. Anticipation was high. Sir and I have played with several anal toys. So, I was very excited about the prospects to be had this toy.
Well, I have to say I didn't enjoy the toy. I thought it was too limber and I found it difficult to get much speed or thrust going with the beaded end. Ohhhhh, if it were just a little more rigid. I also found that it was difficult, after lubing, to get a really good grip on it.
We also tried playing with the toy as a dildo. That was a little better, but I found that the surface was just too smooth and really didn't provide much stimulation for me. But, that's just me. Someone else may just want to just fill the ummmmmm appropriate cavity and not want the thrust I was anticipating.
So here's the upside. If I had read the reviews on edenfantasys, I would have known these things were an issue with this toy. In my opinion, edenfantasys really does have the most helpful and detailed information, specifications and reviews of the sex toys they offer than any other site I have found.
So, lesson learned. I will start reading the helpful product information provided by edenfantasys and become a much more informed consumer.
Momma never guessed I would ever have to write a less than flattering review about a sex toy.
Seriously though, this has been a really difficult review to write. I've pondered over it for days. Weeks really. So, I've decided to take momma's advice and just be honest. (BTW, it's also what my contact at edenfantasys advised me to do as well.)
So, to be honest, I was super excited about the toy I had chosen to review. Sir had expressed his interest in it and I do try to please Sir. So when the opportunity arose I selected this simply delightful looking anal probe.
Well, I have to say I didn't enjoy the toy. I thought it was too limber and I found it difficult to get much speed or thrust going with the beaded end. Ohhhhh, if it were just a little more rigid. I also found that it was difficult, after lubing, to get a really good grip on it.
We also tried playing with the toy as a dildo. That was a little better, but I found that the surface was just too smooth and really didn't provide much stimulation for me. But, that's just me. Someone else may just want to just fill the ummmmmm appropriate cavity and not want the thrust I was anticipating.
So here's the upside. If I had read the reviews on edenfantasys, I would have known these things were an issue with this toy. In my opinion, edenfantasys really does have the most helpful and detailed information, specifications and reviews of the sex toys they offer than any other site I have found.
So, lesson learned. I will start reading the helpful product information provided by edenfantasys and become a much more informed consumer.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
This Stuff is Easy. Right?
Sir has used me alot. He usually has access to me almost every night of the week. Recently, though, a few of my nights have been taken up with commitments. And Sir's evenings have been terribly hectic with work.
It's Sir's schedule that left me trying to think of ways to serve him differently. To let him know I'm thinking of him and wanting to continue my submission, even when we can't connect as much as we usually do.
True to character, Sir thought of ways for me to show my submission to him. All by himself. Imagine that. A Dom knowing what he wants submission to look like. Amazing right? Turns out it was something I didn't need to worry my little head about.
So far, I have found TTWD is pretty easy. My part is just to serve, submit and obey. And I'm a good girl. I can do that pretty well.
Problem is..... Yep, I've discovered a problem. Sometimes I feel a tension between doing just that - serve, submit and obey - and wanting to show Sir how willing I am to to do so.
So for some background and a for instance:
As I said earlier, Sir uses me alot. And we've been fortunate enough to be able to have long sessions. And usually at the end of those sessions (actually long before the end of those sessions), I'm just out of it. Totally out of it. I describe it in degrees of floatiness, beyond floatiness and being somewhere else. And Sir loves having that effect on me. Loves sending me to those places. I think more often than not what ends our sessions is me just not being able to continue.
However, with the hectic schedules and the extra commitments our time together has been cut down to an hour or less an evening. This is what led to the problem/tension I discovered. With such little time this past week (and here's the problem....) I decided, I didn't want the time with Sir shortened by my inability to continue. I wanted to stay grounded so Sir could take as much from me as he wanted. I actually told Sir in the middle of the session I was trying not to get floaty so I could continue to serve him.
It wasn't until the next morning when I was sending my daily email to Sir, that I realized the gravity of what I had done. OMG! I had (unintentionally?) decided the direction of our session. I immediately felt so ill. In my desire to prolong Sir's pleasure, I may have inadvertently robbed him of something that really pleases him -- the pleasure he gets out of sending me to those floaty "other" places. And worse yet, I may have taken charge. Uh-oh!
I talked to Sir about this because I was on unfamiliar territory. I was a little concerned I might have done something that would result in discipline or punishment. I mean, taking charge or directing would be something that would really NOT make Sir happy. He said he didn't really mind that I had tried to stay grounded and not get floaty. Then he said, "If you'll remember right after you told me you were trying to not get floaty, you actually got floaty."
So much for my efforts. I'm learning. Yes, TTWD is easy. My job is to serve, submit and obey. Sir knows where he wants to go. I just need to follow.
It's Sir's schedule that left me trying to think of ways to serve him differently. To let him know I'm thinking of him and wanting to continue my submission, even when we can't connect as much as we usually do.
True to character, Sir thought of ways for me to show my submission to him. All by himself. Imagine that. A Dom knowing what he wants submission to look like. Amazing right? Turns out it was something I didn't need to worry my little head about.
So far, I have found TTWD is pretty easy. My part is just to serve, submit and obey. And I'm a good girl. I can do that pretty well.
Problem is..... Yep, I've discovered a problem. Sometimes I feel a tension between doing just that - serve, submit and obey - and wanting to show Sir how willing I am to to do so.
So for some background and a for instance:
As I said earlier, Sir uses me alot. And we've been fortunate enough to be able to have long sessions. And usually at the end of those sessions (actually long before the end of those sessions), I'm just out of it. Totally out of it. I describe it in degrees of floatiness, beyond floatiness and being somewhere else. And Sir loves having that effect on me. Loves sending me to those places. I think more often than not what ends our sessions is me just not being able to continue.
However, with the hectic schedules and the extra commitments our time together has been cut down to an hour or less an evening. This is what led to the problem/tension I discovered. With such little time this past week (and here's the problem....) I decided, I didn't want the time with Sir shortened by my inability to continue. I wanted to stay grounded so Sir could take as much from me as he wanted. I actually told Sir in the middle of the session I was trying not to get floaty so I could continue to serve him.
It wasn't until the next morning when I was sending my daily email to Sir, that I realized the gravity of what I had done. OMG! I had (unintentionally?) decided the direction of our session. I immediately felt so ill. In my desire to prolong Sir's pleasure, I may have inadvertently robbed him of something that really pleases him -- the pleasure he gets out of sending me to those floaty "other" places. And worse yet, I may have taken charge. Uh-oh!
I talked to Sir about this because I was on unfamiliar territory. I was a little concerned I might have done something that would result in discipline or punishment. I mean, taking charge or directing would be something that would really NOT make Sir happy. He said he didn't really mind that I had tried to stay grounded and not get floaty. Then he said, "If you'll remember right after you told me you were trying to not get floaty, you actually got floaty."
So much for my efforts. I'm learning. Yes, TTWD is easy. My job is to serve, submit and obey. Sir knows where he wants to go. I just need to follow.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Permissions
Sir has controlled not only my orgasms, but any touching/playing with myself since I submitted to him. I can orgasm or touch myself if I ask permission first. Additionally, if I have to text or email him to ask permission and he doesn't respond within 15 minutes, he has given me permission to go ahead and play with myself or orgasm.
And the number of times I have asked permission within the (close to) 4 months since I've been with Sir?
Exactly.........ZERO.
I just can't seem to bring myself to ask to do so. Not because I have problem asking Sir for anything. That's not the issue at all. There are a couple of reasons why I've never asked permission.
The first reason I've never asked is because I feel like I would be taking something away from Sir if I asked. I've given him control of my orgasms -- every sexual aspect of my life really. I feel if I ask permission because I want it, I am taking that control back. Even though he set "the rule" (I really don't have rules) in place, I just can't do it. And I do understand asking permission is his control, I just can't seem to be able to do it because I feel I am taking something away from Sir.
Another reason I can't bring myself to ask permission is because since I've submitted to Sir, I haven't orgasmed or touched myself without his direction or instruction. That is not to say that I haven't orgasmed without being with Sir. Because Sir has been super busy with work, he has me play with myself/orgasm after dinner and when I shower to keep me focused on my submission. So although Sir has not been there when I've orgasmed/played with myself, it was still under his control and at his direction. It has created an incredible connection between receiving pleasure, my submission and what makes Sir happy/Sir's control. So I just can't seem to get through the barrier that if I initiate by asking permission one of those elements is missing and it would result in a renegade orgasm. One not under Sir's control.
This may not make total sense. What I do know is that I get this lost, almost lonely, feeling when I even think about asking permission. My first thought is, "What if he can't respond in 15 minutes?" It's at that point when I know I just can't do it without absolutely knowing it would be what Sir wants too.
And the number of times I have asked permission within the (close to) 4 months since I've been with Sir?
Exactly.........ZERO.
I just can't seem to bring myself to ask to do so. Not because I have problem asking Sir for anything. That's not the issue at all. There are a couple of reasons why I've never asked permission.
The first reason I've never asked is because I feel like I would be taking something away from Sir if I asked. I've given him control of my orgasms -- every sexual aspect of my life really. I feel if I ask permission because I want it, I am taking that control back. Even though he set "the rule" (I really don't have rules) in place, I just can't do it. And I do understand asking permission is his control, I just can't seem to be able to do it because I feel I am taking something away from Sir.
Another reason I can't bring myself to ask permission is because since I've submitted to Sir, I haven't orgasmed or touched myself without his direction or instruction. That is not to say that I haven't orgasmed without being with Sir. Because Sir has been super busy with work, he has me play with myself/orgasm after dinner and when I shower to keep me focused on my submission. So although Sir has not been there when I've orgasmed/played with myself, it was still under his control and at his direction. It has created an incredible connection between receiving pleasure, my submission and what makes Sir happy/Sir's control. So I just can't seem to get through the barrier that if I initiate by asking permission one of those elements is missing and it would result in a renegade orgasm. One not under Sir's control.
This may not make total sense. What I do know is that I get this lost, almost lonely, feeling when I even think about asking permission. My first thought is, "What if he can't respond in 15 minutes?" It's at that point when I know I just can't do it without absolutely knowing it would be what Sir wants too.
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